• I wish shirtless Gendry was sitting in the
visitor's chair beside me right now.
• I'll smother his arms and chest and abs with more
grease and charcoal and dirt.
• Get the picture? YOU'RE WELCOME.
• Kit and Darren are very much welcome to sit in
here too.
• Most definitely James.
• How Scottish men torment us girls with their
sexiness and perfect accent will remain as the mystery I'll forever be grateful
for.
• I should stop having coffee for breakfast.
• My stomach's screaming 'Feed meeeeeeeeee.'
• I would kill to be inside the SeriousEats
headquarters right now.
• I'll eat every goddamn thing offered in the
goddamn menu of every goddamn food truck in the streets of America. Oh, yes I
will. That's how hungry I am.
• Oh good lord, stop me from opening another food
blog tab.
• Sophie's Mom and Happy Lemon, stop messing with
my sanity.
• Mmmmm, avocado bliss.
• Gods, Shaughn is giving me a headache. I don't
speak Holidex. I don't want to answer your inquiryyyyy.
• Replying to Shaughn's email is like trying to
think while your brain is covered in cow manure. All you want to do is remove
the muck and rest your head in fluffy pillows and not think for a whole week
afterward.
• Ugh.
• But this is work and it is SOP to reply so I
force myself to type words not found in the English dictionary. I inserted photos too.
• Speaking of cows (and manure?), there's a cow
moo-ing behind me. Our office is infested with wildlings.
• Whoop! Employee portraits! *hover, hover* *next* *next* *haha*
*hahaha* *whothat?* *ooh, look at his eye shadow* *ooh, curly hurr*
• *idontevenknowseventypercentofthesepeople*
• *OH LORD WE ALL LOOK LIKE ALIENS FROM MARS*
• I am oh so close to having a taste of that cream
cheese frosting and green tea goodness.
• Now, to tease you . . . I'd rather not.
• I hate it when people say 'bucks' instead of
'pesos.' "OMG, I got this
shirt on sale for, like, only 300 bucks and I saved around, like, 500 bucks OMG
can you believe it?" Yes,
I understand that you got it for cheap but dude, you fucking paid for it in
hundred-peso bills. Three
hundred pesos. Don't try too
hard.
• This girl in front of me in the shuttle is
playing a requiem or something from her laptop. In full blast. Where are your
earphones, grrrl?
• Oh no, now it's The Sound of Music. And she's singing along. And
laughing like a madman at the same time. AFRAID.
• She just opened the freaking car door while the vehicle is still
moving! The hell? What is your problem, grrrl?
• I can pretty much see her hand in hand with Hodor. They'll totally
make perfect little Hodorees and Hodoras.
• Did I just see Phil Phil's girlfriend in the audience? Whaaa?
• Hashtag: ABORTS PREGNANCY
• cue music: What Hurts The Most
• Kidding.
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